Jumping to Conclusions

Allowing herself to be vulnerable with him was worth her while; such a small action made a world of difference. Just knowing that not only could she be herself, she was comfortable enough to be exposed. Not everyone has that.  He respected and appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable with him and she loved him for that.  In his own way, he continued to challenge her, but his brash words made her eyes bulge. Her twin did not have a filter, he picked on her large head, disheveled hair and fat toes.  She’s so use to being admired by men that her twin is pretty cutthroat.  It’s alright for her to behave that way but having two brash people in a twinship will result in someone getting their feelings hurt. Oddly he’s even the source of entertainment. In all her friendships, she’s the one who makes people laugh, does outrageous things and keeps the conversation flowing. But he does all of that! Now, all she does is sit back and be entertained. He’s so hilarious and she loves every moment with him.

She tries hard daily NOT to try and figure their relationship out but it’s something she can’t resist. Why two people are freakishly so much alike and oddly meet … any normal person would wonder.. So she found two interesting metaphysical conclusions:

Soulmates?

“Soul Mates are other souls that have agreed to connect with you on this planet for a purpose. In some cases it is to clear up karma, in other cases it is to finish unfinished business, and for some it is to accomplish a particular goal together. These relationships may be a joy to be in or these relationships may be a pain in your life. Either way they are here for a reason.”

Twin Flames?

“Twin Flames are almost identical. They truly compliment each other and it is a hardship for them to be apart. As an outside observer it is sometimes hard to distinguish the two people. They also have a very strong bond and often have telepathy with each other. Their lives even before meeting each other have many parallels. Again, meeting your Twin Flame is very rare.”

Learning to Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable feels like being caught naked and unshaven. The Alabama Shakes had penetrated her mind and inspired her to take a chance. She realized that if she never changed her habits, things will always be,how they have always been.

Her desire for change was stronger than her fear. So she unlocked the secret passage way to her heart and let him in.

One Large Step for SheMankind

An Alabama Shakin' Friendship

The moment she started feeling like her old self, she ran in search of some inspiration. As she attempted to fulfill her desires of retail therapy, she noticed the sound of Alabama shakes filled the air. She loved the song " Hold On" she believed it was her anthem. Though the newly popular song played throughout the store , the vocal stylings of Brittany Howard continued. As their music continued to play she felt a strong urge to purchase the CD. So she did. She sat at the top of the parking garage just listening to the heart filled lyrics of each song... and slowly began to think of that significant TWIN of hers.

It was that moment that she knew, she had found friendship

Daddy's Love

She started to desire the wrong things. She wanted to cuddle, she wanted affection. She started to feel lonely and it hit her... God wanted to get his baby girls attention. So, she took all that energy and focused on Him. In return, she felt beautiful and unstoppable. In her head she meditated on God's love for her and that satisfied all her needs.

She realized that she didn't need the man in her notebook but he was  a gift.

Fancy Running Into You.. Here

She meandered through campus without any direction and she ran smack into him. What started with a smile ended up as a 20 minute conversation under the blazing sun. The two were joined by the company of mutual friends, and exchanged random looks,smiles and inside jokes.

A mutual friend commented on their outfits as if they had planned to coordinate. The two aren't a couple but their friendship  appears to be growing.

When it was time for the two to depart they walked side by side to their destinations. In her mind she thought... Maybe ... Just maybe they were meant to be more. She erased the thought from her head and prayed for guidance.

Unexpectedly one of her sorority sisters saw the two together and marched right up to her with a million questions. "Is that your boyfriend? Ya'll look soo good together.  When did ya'll get together? Let me find out he's the reason you dont come around anymore."

The thought of people in her business irritated her so she simply replied, "We are just friends."

A Chanced "L"

Early Sunday morning he challenged her to call her mother and of course she tried her best to dodge that bullet. After church she sent her mother a text message to apologize for why she didn't come home that weekend. After she had sent the message her mother immediately called her.  Often times, she doesn't share anything about her friendships but there is something about him that she just cant keep to herself. She told her mother about him and even though she was open and honest. She tapped back into her old self, she could feel her mothers bullshit start to pile up. She could just feel the lies flood in, her mother began to speak and after filtering through her mother's  B.S. all she heard was. Blah blah blah. Sometimes its just best to say nothing at all.

Though it was an L of a conversation she still made that effort which ultimately makes it a W.

Can We Be Friends?

      The two agreed to make time for each other on Monday yet neither one of them knew what they were in for.

MONDAY

"Coincidentally Monday is significant to her. Monday  represents some of the greatest times with the greatest people. Amiga Monday's in Florida taught her all she knew about true friendship and love. "

Anyway...

 In her mind, she planned for awkward silence and weird moments but that was not the case. The two of them talked as if they had known each other since birth and laughed until the wee hours of the morning. She loved that he was honest and open and she didn’t have to pry to get him to open up. They talked about everything under the stars and found that they were almost the same person. From personality traits to small details in desserts the two were freakishly alike. She was happy to find someone she could be herself with.  . They discussed the past, present, future but most importantly friendship. Like most people both of them had been hurt by past significant others and ultimately  both were in need of a  friend.

       The fact that the two are so much alike, gives them a great understanding of one another, however there is considerable doubt. The two are nototorious for being outgoing and funny and then in a flash they'll disappear from your life without a trace.  As she analyzed the situation, she observed his language  carefully in fear of losing someone so interesting. So she prays: God, I believe that up in heaven you are aligning things and if you'd have this to be allow me to move out of the way and into Your Will. I know how stubborn I can be and how quick I am to throw people away. Lord give me patience and undertanding. But by the way thank you  for sending me one of the funniest people on earth . I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time. But anyway Lord help me not to get beside myself, I know how much of a pain I can be. In Jesus name, Amen.

   Her smile had never been so big or so radiant...She figured if she consulted God for friendship and the man appeared ... Maybe she had finally found what she was looking for..

The Last Bible Study of the Semester

Before the last Bible study of the semester the conversation between the two had gotten awkward and sadly she had to go to Bible study by herself. Her comfort zone consisted of meeting with friends and  walking over together but that day  it wasn't the case. Today, all her Bible study buddies were busy and were going to be late. She didn't want to go by herself but she thoroughly enjoyed Bible study so she marched her little self right through those doors. Luckily, it wasn't too awkward and finally her friends showed up. Once Bible study was over, she jetted out the doors, the  pressure in her face started to become unbearable. Luckily it wasn't an allergic reaction but her heart was so heavy and when she made it to her bedroom, she turned off her cell phone and all of the lights; she stretched across the floor and began to pray. As she sang praises to God, she wiped her tears and  basked in the presence of God searching for direction.  She didn't understand the  purpose of the man in her notebook. However she understood that where women invest their time, they also invest their emotions. She knew that eventually she was going to get weak, that she was going to begin to fall for him. In knowing this her old self returned and she wanted  to cut off communication with him. She justified this decision as a way of guarding her heart and when she turned her phone back on  the man in her notebook appeared in her inbox. She couldn't resist and  marked her calendar for some quality friendship time on Monday.

Change is often resisted but necessary. . . #LessonLearned

Bible Study & Communication

The spirit of inspiration brought her back to Bible Study every Tuesday.  The second Tuesday was interesting as well. Though she and the man in her notebook exchanged occasional eye contact and smiles, it was nothing more. The speaker of the night, spoke of relationships. She tried to piece the puzzle together in her mind but she didn’t have enough pieces. There was something special about him but she couldn’t put her finger on it. That night after Bible study as she lay in bed she prayed and in her slumber she had a dream. A dream in which she and the young man went to visit her family, it was there the young man met her father and her uncle. She knew it was all a dream but something made her want to pay more attention to this young man. . 

On the third Tuesday they all sat in a circle diagonally to her right, there he was, the man from her dream. Their eyes locked when he spoke but nothing was impure. Her eyes wandered until the final prayer. She told God, that if this was truly something, the man from her dreams would speak to her.  It just so happened that her friend Bri needed to do a little late night shopping. So, she waited for Bri to get her things across the room.  While she was waiting, the chocolate man approached her and  they happily joked about "curly" hair. She found him charming and amusing.

The following Thursday the young lady decided to be BOLD and direct message him on Twitter (oohhla la ) . She would just ask him about searching for certain scriptures nothing crazy. She waited for his reply and it wasn’t until Saturday, the 7^th that he responded. She was excited but she tried not to let it show through text.  They joked around and had a great time and before they knew it Tuesday had rolled around again. After the probate  they talked just about everyday after. It was all fun and games..kicks and giggles. She started to think he was the one,The Friend, she was searching for. He’s attractive, charismatic, fun and has a great sense of humor. He’s the package she'd been waiting for God to deliver.

The 22 Year Old Virgin

She’s a single 22 year old virgin, who has never had a real relationship. Sad but true. She’s a bit of an introvert but not socially awkward, in fact she’s quite popular. But knowing a lot of people constitutes for friendship as much as owning a lot of things will make you happy. She’s far from ugly with a great personality and a mind of her own. Many wonder why a woman like her would be single. In fact she wonders the same damn thing everyday. All she wants is something real, something irreplaceable. Yet often. It just seems too much to ask.

She once thought that joining a sorority in college would help her fill that void. However, the void grew when the sorority fell under. Sisterhood was preached in the beginning but not lived up to in the end. To her, it was just another road that didn’t lead to her happy ever after. She began to pray and reminisce over good times with people who she thought were her friends. She dwelled on memories of the past to fuel the desire of friendship. As she meditated on these things, her longing for a companion grew. In her mind she juggled ideas of getting a dog and even having a baby. The void was REAL and the loneliness was unpleasant. So she picked up her notebook and began to write.

As a hopeless romantic she transported herself into her own world. On a blank page in her notebook she doodled a stick figure of a man and named him Jamaal. She loved that named, it just sounded so good to her ears. It wasn’t a common name like the men she had waster her time on in the past like Chris or Aaron .So she felt the name was safe and couldn’t be easily confused.

Seven weeks later, there was a shift in her atmosphere.  Early Tuesday morning,she went to converse with her employee at work. Sherika was pretending to be busy studying and invited her to
Bible study. She declined, she didn’t really believe in the idea of organized religion, she loved her personal one on ones with her Heavenly Father.  As she departed for class, something changed her mind. Something clicked and she wanted to go to Bible study. So she sent Sherika a text wondering if the invitation was still open. Sherika was happy to receive the news and told her where to meet. They met up at the library and walked down the trail to the Yellow House. She and Sherika sat on the front row and as all of the people gathered into the large room. Worship music danced in the air as she quietly sat in her seat awaiting what was to come.

Bible study began with an introduction of the speaker, his name : Jahmal. Her eyebrows became tense as an attractive chocolate man sat before her. She listened as the words he said spoke to her heart. How interesting she thought. With the absence of lust her eyes focused strongly on him. She felt nothing but peace and  inspiration.